Irony, in fact.

Pwnage

2010-01-20T07:35:00.000-08:00

Thanks to evolution and certain unexplainable biological circumstances, I have a huge cranium not ala Mojo Jojo despite some people being clearly biased towards that theory. I personally prefer Atom Ant. Thanks to this, absolute mental inactivity is my bane. With my uncivilized and unearthly living habits, and severe lack of appropriate stimulus (read coding, reading proper books and the like), I have been extremely testy(pun not intended). None of this though being as detrimental to my mental well-being as my increased social activity. Somewhere between the two hemispheres of my cerebrum, I'm probably wired to be unable to mix mental and social activity. And since I'm pretty clear where MY priorities lie, looks like society's got to do without me for quite some time now.
All the inertia and lethargy led to me looking for more and more activities that could be performed from within the confines of a chair in front of a desktop computer. My musical tastes have been decidedly flexible(not generous) and I've been listening to a lot of different stuff of late. But a quick browse through some of the stuff I've always had and never realised it's worth(all thanks to inactivity) was all I needed to stir me right back up.
Whoever thought Symphony and Heavy Metal shouldn't mix should hear Metallica & The San Francisco Symphony making heavenly music. Jimmy Page and his insane solos, Mustaine's raw aggression, G3 live, Joe Satriani, Mike Portnoy, John Petrucci, Mikael Akerfeldt, Angus Young, Brian Johnson and here I trail off because the list is long. Point being, there's something about their music that stirs your brain into action. Don't believe me? Try sitting still through Lars double bassing his ass off on One, Page riffing his fingers raw on Stairway to Heaven, Cliff Burton playing mind-boggling bass on For whom the bell tolls and Battery. You'll know what I mean.

The truth behind the color spectrum

2010-01-09T11:56:00.000-08:00

Over the last few weeks, I've been busting my balls(figuratively and NOT literally) trying to decode the special status messages put up by people on Facebook. The status messages are all about some colors. Now in the said period of ball busting type, it did not strike me that all the status updates were by the females of the species. And soon, on making some inquiries, I came to know that it's a method for increasing Breast Cancer awareness.
Breast Cancer is a prime cause of death for women in their middle age, especially women in the Post Menopausal Stage.
Over the last few years, there have been concerted attempts at educating the general public about the effects and symptoms of the disease with the Pink Ribbon campaigns. Early identification and control being the primary methods of defeating this killer.
Which brings us to this latest ploy for Breast Cancer awareness. Women/girls putting up their bra colors as a sign of solidarity is a nice gesture. However, somewhere along the way, it got warped into games with many people finding it naughty/saucy/seductive/emancipating to put up their bra colors and playing with the imaginations of several unsuspecting, unaware people like me. Also several people find it amusing to create a fashion statement by announcing bold colors like fluorescent green and/or the make of the bra they're wearing, hell they'd come up with cup sizes next. But the sad part is amidst the fun and games, we lost the real significance of the bra colors. I don't begrudge anyone telling the world what color bra you're wearing. Sure, go ahead, we live in the times of women's lib and if you want to announce what color you wear, you have every right to do it. And yes, I don't mind in people indulging in a little harmless fun what with the guesswork and imaginative possibilities that us uneducated people come up with. It's supposed to be awareness in a lighter vein.
All I'm saying here is, amidst all the brouhaha about what color bra you're wearing and all the banter, let's not forget what it was all about - To increase awareness about Breast Cancer. At the end of the day, it's not your Bra color that matters, it's how safe the things inside are.
Go ahead, Educate yourself.

What happens when you put Mo-jo before privacy

2010-01-06T00:33:00.000-08:00

After a day of arbit drunken-ness which involved copious amounts of draught beer (happy hours be blessed), some pizza (which did not agree with my digestive system and eventually lost the fight) and weird conversation, I remain with only one startling confession. The confession was startling to me, because, I as an Indian (which makes me and most of us sexually retarded) found it mind-boggling that someone could actually do that.

The act in question being dry-humping in the Bathroom of a popular restaurant. Several hours of further enjoyment, one puke outside The Zone (sorry Sajid Bhai) and a few rounds of CS later, a random digression in a random conversation led to me and a couple of friends debating over the various places where dry-humping/making out is possible.
And on their behalf, I decided to compile this list. The title says "What happens when you put Mo-jo before privacy", well, Shit happens. But there's various roads that lead to it.

Note: These places have either been tried and tested, and if not, shall soon be tried.
If you happen to have tried any of these, please be kind enough to let me know.

In bedrooms.(We start with the very simple and easy places)
In other people's bedrooms.
Rent a room in a hotel.
In a car parked in the middle of nowhere.
(khachakach - Vocabulary consultant: Siddharth Lawande)
In a car parked in a multi-storey car park. (Courtesy: Chandan Gupta)
On ledges near lakes/the sea.
In front of restaurants. (Courtesy: Gaurav Sharda)
IN restaurants/cafes/bistros.
In bathrooms in public places.
In parks.(Behind the bushes)
In theatres.(I know why you booked the "kopcha seats")
On the bunks in trains.
In the restroom on a plane.
Against the stacks in libraries. (Courtesy: Mihir Gawand)
In empty classrooms in colleges/schools. (WTF)
In an office cubicle.
In a lounge.
In a club amidst some seriously intense dancing.
On the roads. (Get a room :-|)
In taxis.
In limousines with driver blocked from view. (NICE)
In lifts in your own building.
In lifts in someone else's building. (Do not try this in my building, our lifts have CCTV cameras and you could find yourself becoming a youtube sensation in no time)
Cyber cafes with personal booths (Courtesy: Aditya Bhat)
Anywhere in Goa. (Courtesy: Aditya Bhat)
Abso-fucking-lutely ANYWHERE in France. (Courtesy: Priyanka Kulkarni)
Bandra reclamation.(Courtesy: Faraz Virani)
Faraz also claims to have made out on the bonnets of cars and in garages. (yeah, sure.)

This apart, I hear of people actually DOING it behind the rocks at places like Marine Drive. Due to extreme lack of knowledge and experience in this particular field, my list is relatively short. I shall rely on you, the common people, to help me extend it. So fire away people, tell us all where YOU did it. Feedback, as always, shall be appreciated.

What the Luck?

2010-01-03T01:42:00.000-08:00

Inquisitiveness has been the only constant factor amidst the multitude of changes I have undergone in the process of "growing-up" (a process still in it's infancy if I may add). Inquisitiveness coupled with a respectably large appetite for books or stuff to read in general and then further coupled with an inborn need to think things over irrespective of the theories/facts in support/opposition. This unholy threesome was further allowed to burgeon by my parents who never took offence though I (by my own admission) asked way too many questions to be allowed. What with education and science and some more reading, this eventually led to me being decidedly rational and at one point, rigid enough to be an Atheist.

The above brief yet succint explanation serves the purpose of portraying me as a practical, scientific human being. Thanks to me being of a previously-explained bent of mind, I have never set store by any superstitions and have not believed in luck. But then, when things are going your way, you hardly want to attribute it to anything but your own undeniable awesomeness. It's when things start going haywire or remarkedly tangential to your interests that you find cause for reflection.

Things(read shit) happened in the year gone past, one time too many to pass it off as exception. And as the frequency of occurrence of shit increased, it led to a strategic timeout on my side to re-think my position on luck and the various parameters/factors affecting and/or controlling it. As shown in the figure above, the transition in the shit-time continuum was linearly disastrous for my social, personal and professional life. Hence, after serious deliberation and rumination, I decided to call it a truce with luck.

What made me change my stance is a list of things. Most important being:-

Luck is subjective. You cannot predict it's behavior.

If you don't try to please luck, luck will give it to you (in the ass).

You don't believe in luck. OK. Someone else does. He/She is going to get lucky.

Most importantly, even if you don't believe in luck, it works.(Neils Bohr shall always be GOD)

So, in order to return peace and joy to my multi-faceted existence and also (very importantly) to the shit-time continuum, I have decided to be zen about the various shortcomings I had previously noticed in the life-luck theory. This, I sincerely hope, shall lead to a much better year in terms of the luck versus shit balance and result in me being awesomer than I already am.
Aaah, WTFness shall soon cease to exist.
Peace.

P.S : Lindsay Lohan despite her immense HQ tried to affect the shit-time continuum in a seriously lame movie which I remember watching years ago. But as LUCK would have it, she was no where near as awesome as I am and hence, her shit-time continuum resembles the graph of x=0.(go figure)

P.P.S: For people with a non-scientific background, when I say her graph resembles the graph of x=0, I mean the Y axis, which in turn means that her life is independent of time. Shit is now a constancy in it. (which has been proved AND is readily verifiable).

P.P.P.S: For the total retrogrades, the title is a take on the extremely popular acronym WTF which stands for What the Fuck?

The not-so-Shawshank Redemption

2009-12-31T07:28:00.000-08:00

Genesis 1:3 - God said let there be light, and there was light.

Pity you're not god. Hell, pity even I'm not god. Nevertheless, the light did arrive, albeit not unlike the one at the end of the proverbial tunnel and with a lot of fuss mind. Mindfuck, the word thrown about without a care by many a carefree homo sapien sapien, had never been better equipped to portray the chaotic situation I found myself in, on more than one occasion over the last (more than a )few days.

Now, know how you've used words that had an instant connect with you(because you understand what it's supposed to mean/you are lame enough to randomly pick up cool buzz words so that you sound awesome) but never have an idea about the proper definition of the word? I took the liberty to look up the word Mindfuck and found quite a few definitions. Ambiguities, as always, are unavoidable, but one definition I found was so perfect, precise and simply kosher.

Mindfuck - A process of raping your intelligence; never accompanied by a pre-lubricant; doesn't leave you with an endorphine high and craving a peanutbutter and jelly sandwich or a cigarette. Rarely are dinner and drinks bought for you before or after the act; most often tried on an unsuspecting victim,penetration has less friction; the perpetrator will rarely call you the next day; A passive-agressive way to get their money shot, no happy ending for you.

Digression apart, NOW that my mindfuck is a thing of the past, I shall diligently return to Mindfucking the legions of unsuspecting masses. Don't mind if I do. But I'd be doing your Mind, since it's a MIND-fuck.

The first post-luminiscence act that I shall perform is to devise THE Ultimate Spam-victim's Revenge.

Justice shall be served, mind's shall be fucked, and awesomeness shall persist.

The f9er side of language.

2009-12-15T07:09:00.000-08:00

The explorer in passing cerebration often finds that people do things which in no way benefits them or anyone else. The explorer feels pity and on some rather rare occasions, intense vexation at such, who are unfortunately, people. Feeling a deep sense of social service, the explorer explains one of the few things you should never do.

Ultimate peeve here being use of SMS linguo and/or logically absurd statements to make a point or have conversations. For all the people who do that, people, there's a reason it's called SMS linguo. Text messages have limited characters and in such cases, economics call for improvisation and that is where the abbreviations come into the picture.
But I crap you not, it is with utter disbelief that I read sentences like "i m f9", "4m whr?" , "ausum", and the one that absolutely takes the cake, "cum on yahoo/skype/gtalk/whatever chat-application turns you on.".
I shall need complete explanations with practicals if possible as to how any human being can achieve this unique feat. If YOU can do this, be sure respected mister, that the explorer shall be your disciple for as long as it takes to learn to perform a virtual cumshot.

Desist from using "da" in place of the, "f9" in place of fine and the likes. F-9, dear Bozo, is an aircraft carrier and does not even SOUND like fine. It sounds like fanine which rhymes with famine and does not make sense. Also, as a warning or a polite message to all my friends on any social networking sites, if your name is something like "ABC d@ imp@ti3nt 0n3", understand dear ABC, that I shall unfriend you with as little hesitation as possible.(Even if you're a part of my mafia on facebook.)

And finally, dear above 18's who use such language, if you ever wish to be taken seriously in life, improve your language and your ability to spew out intelligible stuff. No one takes a guy who doesn't know how to spell "for, come or the" seriously.

For lessons in english, go back to high school, or learn to use ALL the alphabets of the keyboard. Typing tutor's a good bet. The explorer is so fucking sure that reactions to this post will include comments which will employ the very language he so passionately hates.

Blog Legend for the masses.

2009-11-27T03:48:00.000-08:00

The Explorer in various passing conversations and posts makes use of certain terms that the lay populace have difficulty understanding. Today's post is a legend for all of you readers who've often found yourselves confused when encountered with such concocted terms.

A.Q - Awesomeness Quotient

Read this up.

H.Q - Heat Quotient

I.Q - Indifference Quotient (and NOT Intelligence Quotient)

P.D - Pradyumna Pathrabe (and NOT Pen Drive)

JFGI

Another day, another post.

2009-11-26T06:10:00.000-08:00

I am rarely nostalgic or melancholy or in mourning over things which, though they affect me and/or other people, are in the past. All the same, that does not mean that I put things behind me with considerable ease. Forgetting things and getting over things are NOT the same, which many people fail to realise.

I am not picking bones, but a year ago, Mumbai was the focus of a concerted terrorist activity which left the citizens of the entire country thoroughly shaken and tragically affected the lives of many people in one way or the other. Commiserations to each and every person who has been affected in any single way are more than due. Today on the first anniversary (not sure why we say anniversary. But then, I have seen our country's leading daily use the word, which in fact is defined as a yearly observance/celebration.) I see all around me people saying they are yet to get over it, that they can't forget the terror, or the incidents and so on and so forth.

Humbly, I feel that we rush to voice our opinions on the day. First and foremost, this is not an anniversary. Such days rather than being remembered year after year and glamorized though in a manner that echoes the public mood (though I tend to think that the public mood is set by the newspapers and news channels rather than the other way around). Though we need to learn lessons from it and make improvements on a large scale, romanticising the entire fiasco and remembering it year after year hardly helps us achieve our ends. Apart from that, what hurts me most is when I see people (people who I'm sure have not been personally affected in any way by this apart from the horror of watching the city held to ransom by a group of Kalashnikov wielding bastards, in short, people like me) say that they're finding it hard to "get over" the incidents. This when we've all (in honesty) led our lives exactly as they were before, over the last year, when most of us haven't remembered any of this when we were too bored to vote, too cool to wear helmets, too well connected to abstain from drunk driving. You get what I mean.

What happened last year wasn't a blot on the administration in our country, it was a finger held in OUR face by the terrorists. All of us, who last year blamed everyone from the local corporator to the President for the attack, who lauded the National Security Guard for their work yet forgot the fact that they existed, 3 months down the line, who were "pained and scarred for life", yet a week later, a month later, partied at the same Cafe Leopold's without sparing a thought for any of the deceased or the injured.

We've always heard that India is the world's largest Democracy. Well, news people, it is also the world's largest Hypocrisy. And by that , I do not malign my country (which I love in all sincerity), but simply state the obvious about myself(honesty) and my fellow citizens. Let's be brutally honest, and have some conscience, and not say that we're hurt or pained or having difficulty getting over it, when you spent best part of a year not giving a fuck. Because if you do give a fuck, we wouldn't have to remember the day, or have a yearly observance(it isn't an anniversary).

I will not sermonize and ask you all to wake up. Though I really feel you shouldn't be so dramatic either. Trouble getting over it? Seriously? Let's be pragmatic and rational. Rather than crying from the rooftops once every year, make our opinions known day by day, little by little. And next time you're pulled over, think about how you felt when you watched it all on TV, before bribing that policeman. The police are only as corrupt as the people they police.

P.S: Don't fight with me over this. If you want to fight, alright, I agree with you, you're right, I'm wrong. Now fuck off.

Absorb this

2009-11-24T08:16:00.000-08:00

You know how sometimes you think that you know a whole lot of stuff, have this feeling of ultimate, all-knowing omniscience? Well, that's exactly when something comes up and makes you realise actually how ignorant you are. The something maybe one among a variety of things. For eg. Complicated things like space-ships, aliens, computers, dinosaurs, The Mayan Calendar(2012 conspirators fuck off) or then even more amazing, logic-defying and absolutely dangerous things like freaking tampons.

Yes, my friend, I am aware you too (like me) have no idea what that word means and trust me looking it up on wiki does not help. But then, when I read it up and saw a few diagrams and recieved a detailed explanation from Edit a.k.a Mr. Aditya Namjoshi (who turns out to be surprisingly knowledgeable about these hellish devices), I couldn't help wonder what OTHER uses these amazing contraptions could be put to.

That is when the Explorer came up with a list of things tampons could be manipulated and used for:

1. As a birth control method. ( simple people, it acts like a freaking plug)

2. Could be cut short to be used as ear plugs. (They come with handy strings, and for people who don't know what they're actually used for, well, ignorance is bliss.)

3. As sponges for superior absorption and retention. (These babies are total suckers.)

4. As miniature death machines (TSS kills and also freaks me out.)

5. And for afters it can also be used to refer to a commune in France.

P.S:
Guys, thank our stars we don't have to shove and stuff things and later worry about dying of infection and more importantly, respect women for everything they go through.
Women, your courage, which is totally admirable, freaks me out.

Friday, the 13th

2009-11-13T12:10:00.000-08:00

From time to time, the Explorer has routine conversations with normal yet supernormal human-beings. The conversations fluctuate from the credible to the incredible to the abso-fucking-lute insane. Please remember, this is the Explorer and such experiences are what make him awesome. Following is a conversation between the Explorer and an acquaintance who we shall call Chuck Norris. Don’t ask me why. Let’s just.

Chuck Norris: hi Explorer

The Explorer: hi Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris: What you doin’?

The Explorer: timepass

Chuck Norris: So what did you do all day?

The Explorer: nothing at all (Are you my friggin girlfriend? Why do you need to know what I did all day?)

Chuck Norris:I mean did you play mafia wars?

The Explorer: yeah man, I did (Makes mental note to declare war ASAP)

Chuck Norris: who is john sass?

The Explorer: (aloud) No idea bro (To himself) Why would he think I know some john sass?

Chuck Norris: kkk. How many slides does your presentation have?

The Explorer: 20 (how does it make any difference to you mate?)

Chuck Norris: Are you showing your ppt to your internal guide?

The Explorer: (By now starting to get fucking frustrated) Im showing my dick to my internal guide (yes, actually did say that!)

Chuck Norris: kkk

Chuck Norris: Since when have you been here?

The Explorer: Here? Since 19 fucking 89.

Chuck Norris: On face book.

The Explorer: Since 2200 hrs.

Chuck Norris: kkk. Did you study anything today? ( first you ask me stuff like you’re my girlfriend, now you try to be my mom?)

The Explorer: No mate. Not one bit. I told you right? I’m going to start December.

Chuck Norris: Arey, I’m just encouraging you to study.

The Explorer: How much did you score in the last semester?

Chuck Norris: 3% less than you.

The Explorer: In the one before that?

Chuck Norris: 5% less than you.

The Explorer: Do you still think I’m the one that needs encouragement?

Chuck Norris: kkk. I think you’ve got a keen grasping power.

The Explorer: (I think he’s a member of the Ku Klux Klan)
No mate, I have a brain the size of a Walnut ( This is MODESTY my friends)

Chuck Norris: kkk. What books do you refer?

The Explorer: Easy solutions. Board papers only.

Chuck Norris: Only easy solutions or board papers?
Since when?

The Explorer: Since forever.

Chuck Norris: I never knew.

The Explorer: Obviously. It wasn’t exactly breaking news buddy.

Chuck Norris: kkk. I refer only class notes.

The Explorer: *Worst fears confirmed* (Told you he’s a member of the Ku Klux Klan)
(Aloud) Nice work Champ.

Chuck Norris: I didn’t find the solutions anywhere. Do you know where I can get them?

The Explorer: Duuuuude, there’s some problem in Cuba, shipments getting delayed, I’ll see what I can do and tell you. ( No, the Explorer was well in his senses and chose to say that himself)

Chuck Norris: kkk. Please do that.

The Explorer: (WTF he bought that shit? I mean seriously, he bought that?) Yeah bro, sure thing.

Chuck Norris: Good night bro.

The Explorer: Good night mate. (See you never.)

The Explorer now knows why people dread Friday, the 13th.

God Bless, Amen.

Return to Hangar

2009-11-12T04:49:00.000-08:00

Friends(are you one?), romans(no chance mate and if you are, you've got to leave a bleeding comment as proof), countrymen(if you still haven't been classified, fuck off, see you never), the explorer began the most awarding part of his year yesterday. A time which is intellectually rewarding yet amazingly filled with somnolence. This is the time of the year when the explorer doesn't need dope or external aids to be high. Traditionally, we'd like to call this time the preparatory leave, but then, the explorer was once a boy scout and in accordance with the boy scout motto(Be Prepared), he is always prepared.

This is that time, when he finds amazing company in the form of books, movies and indifference. This unholy union helps the explorer complete his transformation into the caveman. Now it is not an easy task to assemble this trinity. For not just any book or movie can help achieve this effect. The explorer has weird taste and insane needs. Safe to say, he has managed over the years(in the non-antisocial part of the years) to make acquaintance with sources for the aforementioned books and movies. The third part though is tricky.

It's something you're either equipped with or not. As simple as that. It isn't something you can develop. Even if you do develop it, won't be as rewarding. Safe to say, the explorer has the highest IQ(Indifference Quotient) in the world. This ensures that the explorer can consider himself set for another 2 months before he makes a re-appearance.

Caveman suit up folks, the stubble is unruly, eyes drowsy and mind acutely aware. Existence does prove to be fruitful sometimes.

PS: Say NO to drugs, indifference gives you a better high.
PPS: Don't be a poof, if God wanted it that way, you would've heard of Adam and Adam in the Garden of Sodom.
PPPS: I just received news which might help to improve my dismal termwork, if it does work out, needless to say, there shall be updates.

Anatomy of a bad day

2009-11-11T03:46:00.000-08:00

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness; it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity; it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness; it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair; we had everything before us, we had nothing before us; we were all going directly to Heaven, we were all going the other way.

Charles Dickens had no idea what he was talking about did he?

Honestly, it wasn't the best of times. Far from it. I do not consider having your most dreaded internal assessment at 9 in the morning when you're absolutely unprepared to be ideal.(That's just me).

About it being the age of wisdom, yeah sure, I exist in this age. Nuff said!

The epoch of belief. I'm not so sure my teacher believed all the stuff I told her those god damn microprocessors could do.

It was the season of light NOT. I haven't seen a day darker than yesterday for a long time.

It was the spring of hope. I was hoping my Dad would let me go to my friend's place where we'd planned the most legendary party for years. All the booze, all the guys and I wasn't allowed to go. So much for hope.

We were going directly to heaven. I'm sure everyone apart from me at the party WAS in heaven.

Yeah, that bad. We have bad days, and then we have worse days. But days like the one I just had don't come often. I started off on my best foot for my viva, gave the viva and came out of it unscathed. But wonder of wonders. It starts raining, in NOVEMBER.

Digression: When people harp on about the weather being awesome, about it being perfect and about enjoying a smoke, a cutting or some shit, spare a thought for us poor souls, who leave from home in the morning on 2 wheels with no idea that it's going to rain. And then when we're on our way back, it pours. It doesn't rain folks, it POURS. Having to negotiate traffic when you can barely keep your eyes open cause of the rain drops (try riding in the rain with contact lenses) and when your ass is frozen isn't what I'd call a perfect evening.

But I did that and when I was on my way home, the only thing that was a beacon of hope was all the booze waiting for me back at Paras'(god sent friend who saves ass during prelims, vivas, exams AND situation where no one's place is available for booze consumption) place.
When I reach home, I'm just waiting for dad to get back home, so I can borrow the car and head out for an awesome night. But then again, there's some fucking cyclone which has to hit Mumbai TODAY. And so, I end up spending another night in the company of my computer and Facebook and Goal.com and Cyanide and Happiness.
I continue in my quest for awesomeness and I'm sure I'll pick up modesty along the way. But until then, I pwn you guys.

PS: Pd was one of the select students who had to give the viva thrice. Yeah THRICE.
In his honour, I played CS yesterday with the nick "SHaHeeD PD". I had one of my best days at CS. Frags, Knifings and Pwnage aplenty. I think I wouldn't mind having bad days like these if it meant I'd be awesome at CS then.

PPS: I didn't mean it when I said that I loved my blog so much more.
But I do love my blog.

PPPS: LOL JK....I actually do love my blog WAY more.
xD

No sweat

2009-09-20T01:05:00.000-07:00

Amongst all the temporary and ethereal things in this human plane, The Explorer stands out as a beacon of hope to the masses. His visionary acumen and his immense insight coupled with his omniscience only serve to make him a hero who's presence was long missed.

The fact that he now has now added a league hattrick to his astonishing list of achievements only adds to his modest image.
Thank you my humble disciples.
:-)
keep following me.

Shit Happens

2009-09-10T09:55:00.000-07:00

This is a new feature of my blog.
I shamelessly admit that I have copied Mr.Hari Shenoy's concept lock,stock and barrel.
But what the heck.

Top searches that led people to my blog:
1. Jhatbuddhi (takes the cake. Someone from the California Government)
2. where does pedophobia come from (bethlehem, pennsylvania)
3. amusement aplenty
4. devrat kamath's blog (yes, bizarre. Someone actually looked THAT up on google.)
5. devarat kamat (some dickhead from Singapore)
6. meaning of ghaspus (chicago, illinois)
7. ab imo pectore ad infinitum (montreal, quebec)
8. metempsychosis at blogspot (I, apparently, am a rebirth expert.)

Carpe Diem

2009-09-10T07:19:00.002-07:00

Finally, I return. Post one awesome day (in the course of which I managed a fairly decent and reasonably modest score in the GRE) and a few not so awesome ones, I come back to writing my blog. With the exception of the trip to BARC (which was more like a day's remand in Guantanamo Bay thanks to the intervention of Mr. Pradyumna Pathrabe) the days were ok.

Without much ado, I shall embark on what I was supposed to explain via this post.
The expedition to the Marwah House on the 5th of September, 2009. Like most legendary expeditions, this one was undertaken under severe stress and a fair(read enormous) amount of pressure. The conditions were far from perfect; severe under-preparedness (according to the standards of a few supposed experts), a total lack of concern and inability to concentrate on the task at hand to name a few. Another factor contributing to the legendary status of this expedition was the Explorer.

Born an astonishingly modest genius, prolific in his formative years and touted to be the next big thing. Sounds familiar doesn't it? Alas, the kid lost his way somewhere amidst all the claims of his being a prodigy and ended up being just average. Forever destined to be known for his obvious talent, but never quite living up to the expectations. He was reduced to being the perennial underachiever. And to see him falter short of the line every single time, was now a rule rather than an exception. Always pretty good, but never good enough.

But the kid didn't mind. He came up with theories and counter theories to explain his failures. He had reasons for every shortcoming and excuses for every success. He never realised the importance of being single-minded. Always unconcerned, deliberately unprepared, he would always laze through tasks.

When the time came, he saw many undertake the tough expedition. Highly prepared, having worked ridiculously hard, people went one after the other to a very demoralising downfall. A few people though, did manage to make it (but according to the aforementioned theories of the kid, these people were simply aliens) to the goal.

And in these highly unfavorable conditions, including a case of severe cold feet on the day before, the explorer embarked on the expedition. After the due formalities which made sure that the explorer(along with a host of other mere earthlings) was actually capable of going on the expedition without legal, psychological or physiological ramifications, the journey commenced.

As soon as he went to his cubicle (de ja vu arranged for cubicle number 11)and approached the Computer, the sight of orange, compact ear muffs greeted him. Things were already falling in place. A short tutorial, a trip to the loo and two and a half hours of examination later, the explorer emerged, beaming. He had reached the promised land. Years of under-achievement, all leading to this one single moment of Nirvana.

Some people's motto is "Never retreat, never surrender", some may say "Be prepared". The explorer has always believed that either you're capable or you're simply not, you can never work your way to capability. So he always believes in the principle "Just show up, don't bother with anything else."

Statutory warning: Though reading about the explorer and his amazing stories may give you a high and an immense boost in self-confidence, YOU are NOT the explorer. Things NEVER actually work that way for anyone else. The explorer and the circumstances he finds himself in, are all a work of his own superiorly deranged mind and any imitation in part or whole will be simply foolish not to mention absolutely impossible( and NOT possimpible).

Amusement aplenty

2009-08-02T01:17:00.000-07:00

My last post, which was supposed to serve as a warm-up for my nth return to my blog, ended up with a lot of people giving me sympathy.
Shocked though I was, I was also amused at the instant conclusion that most people jumped to. That is exactly what I meant when I said, nobody knows me. Because if they did, they would've known that I write random shite in my blog, which actually, has no great bearing on my Life in general. So people, reserve thy sympathy for the needy.
I have my awesomeness and my randomness to keep me company.
To continued awesomeness and misunderstandings.

I'm the Man

2009-07-31T23:57:00.000-07:00

Days, weeks, months have passed between my last post and today. I haven't been myself for a large part of the last 7 months of this year. I return, not only to blogging, but to myself and my inherent indifference.
I have always had a problem with people in general. I look at people and always have an impression about them. They appear as complex social beings who are really difficult to comprehend. But over time, I have seen that most people (and by most, I mean MOST) are as complex as, probably the decimal number system. You know a few, you know them all. It's like they have these complicated facades and once you've decoded them, it's all drama. I almost always think of people as complex and when I finally realise how inane they are, it's disappointing.
I wear a facade. Everyone does. What's important is to have substance behind it. Some people have these masks to hide their true selves, most people to hide their lack thereof.
I can safely say, that NO one, knows me entirely, except myself. ( NO, not even you).
And from all I know about me, I love my blog. So my blog shall be seeing a lot more of me.
I know posting smileys on my blog is passe, but whatever. :-)

The return of the Prodigal Blogger.

2009-03-21T03:43:00.001-07:00

Days have flown since my last post. Things are the same, but my perspective has changed. I am more AWESOME than before(but that's just me).
Not writing on my blog has been difficult for some weeks, but you see, I simply have to share my amazing thoughts with my entire readership (sums up to 3).
This semester has been hectic for me. What with plenty of football(awesome), lots of shit and some more shit(not so awesome), I have been reduced to jotting my thoughts and observations down on random people and random incidents on pieces of journal paper(true story).
Now, in order to give my readership an idea of how I've spent my last 2 months, I'd have to put up all the SENSITIVE, PROFANE, and did I mention SCANDALOUS data on my blog.
I sincerely wish to avoid legal complications. So, general public, rest assured that your frivolous lives will not be G.K.
~~(psst. interested people can come to me for private screenings of my journal diaries)~~
On second thoughts, I'd rather pass.
But you get the point.
I will now dedicate much more time to my dear blog and my beloved readership.
To continued AWESOMENESS.

P.S: I agree with you completely and totally when you say that the title is lame.

Northern Sojourn: Day 1

2009-01-19T01:46:00.000-08:00

It was early morning on the 12th of January. We were all set for a backpacking trip of the Northern side of our country. 8 of us, it was. The short train ride to Kurla was non-eventful.
We got ourselves a ride to Bandra Terminus. It was me, Niranjan and Kunal in the taxi. Our taxi driver was something else. This guy was right outta a video game.
He drifted along the long winds near BKC, merrily drove his old FIAT at 80 and was blissfully ignorant of all driving rules and lane-discipline known to mankind.
At one particular signal, the stud from the outer lane, barged to turn to the right and managed to bring the taxi right in front of a truck and another taxi. we had our balls in our mouth, but thankfully, the truck driver braked in time to save our lives. Our taxi stud meanwhile started swearing at the other taxi driver. We were too relieved to say anything.
Soon we reached Bandra and after finding our way through the many people, we got onto the train. The hours between morning and night were passed normally, without any drama. A few card games, a few phone-calls et al.
It was 3 in the night when terror struck. We realised that we were no longer in Maharashtra or Gujarat. The cold was unbearable. Several jackets, sweaters, gloves and skull caps later, we were at peace. This was our first encounter with "Thandi", which would go on to become our slogan throughout this trip.
As we went to sleep, the only thoughts in our mind were about the next 6 days.
Delhi, here we come.

Northern Sojourn: Day 2

2009-01-19T01:36:00.000-08:00

Morning it was, as we reached New Delhi station. Excited at the prospects that lay ahead of us for the next 5 days. Arvind, Yash and Prateek left to find us a place to keep our bags for the time being so that we could freshen up and wait for our TATA winger, which was to take us sight-seeing in Delhi.
Turns out, the only Hotel they found was a run down cheapo place. I was afraid they might be hiding webcams in the rooms. Prateek was mighty pissed. Not exactly the best start to the trip. But we tided over it. A few fights and one broken sofa later, we moved out into the Winger.
The Lotus temple was first up. After an inspiring hour at the temple, we left for the Qutub Minar. It was in the minar complex that the guys found that Chinese Girls could be cute as well. A few clicks here and there and we were off to Ghaziabad for lunch.
It was lunch at a small Dhaba. After relishing our butter chicken and rotis, Nippa was in his element, arranging for 8 cans of draught beer. One for each of us. Arvind was the only sourpuss.
Brilliant. In the evening, the Winger dropped us at Old Delhi. After ensuring that our bags were safe in the cloak room, we were off for a tour of Chandni Chowk.
Dozens of jalebis and Parathas later, we were all on the train to Haridwar. Our first eventful day on the trip.

Northern Sojourn: Day 3

2009-01-19T01:08:00.000-08:00

We got off the train at Haridwar, amidst dense fog and intense cold. We got out of the station, knowing only the address of our Hotel in Shivpuri and nothing else.
Little did we know that this was going to be the most eventful day of our journey.
On our way to the Guest house in Shivpuri, we stopped by at the local water sports co-ordinator and booked ourselves a raft ride down the Ganges.
Off to the hotel, a quick change later, our jeep picked us up and took us to the starting spot for our raft ride.
Several Patelshots later, me, Niranjan and Kunal who were lagging behind the gang geared up for the ride.
Nippa was the first one to get himself geared up. Being afraid of water, he was particularly pleased that we were wearing life-jackets. This was when inspiration struck Arvind. For the first tie in his life, he managed to pull off a "Chance pe Dance". On seeing Nippa's happy face, he said, "Karkare was also looking like this wearing a life-jacket, before he came back dead."
(R.I.P Officer Hemant Karkare, no offense meant)
We all were amazed and aghast at the sudeen brilliance of this quip. Soon after a quick brief, we were on the raft. Several rapids later, (rapids which were a better experience than any roller coaster you may find) we reached the cliff jumping spot.
Yash, Arvind, Niranjan and Prateek signed up for the jump and successfully jumped from a height of 25 ft into the Ganga. All Guts, all Glory.
Soon we reached the end of our raft ride at Ram Jhula. Prateek and me found a treasure trove of knowledge at Ram Jhula in the form of "The Divine Life Society's Publicatons", where we picked up a number of great books.
Back to the Guest House it was. After having our baths, we realised that it utrned dark pretty soon in this part of the country. At 7.15, we trudged along searching a restaurant/dhaba where we could get something to eat. We did manage to find one after several trips across the bridge.
Many of us had egg-plant for the first time in our lives. But it was worth it. Nippa showed his negotiation skills again when he managed to obtain a bottle of Contessa XXX rum. Back to the hotel, with 3 bottles of Thums Up.
Nippa fixed us all a small each. And after downing our pegs, we all went to sleep.
Aah. sleep. The guest house attendant had provided us each with a blanket.
The blanket. It was love at first sight for me. Me and my blanket. It was so warm and so cozy when I crept into bed with my blanket. It was the best night I had for ages. I wanted to take the blanket back with me. This blanket was my love. And in her arms, I fell asleep.

Northern Sojourn: Day 4

2009-01-19T00:18:00.001-08:00

Early morning, rise and shine. I sincerely didn't want to get out of bed. After the Contessa the night before, I just had the best night for the last 4 months with my beloved, my blanket. But like all good things, this had to end. Sadly I had to bid goodbye, and this would remain, a one night stand.
The most entertaining part of the morning was this incident.
After having rum the previous day, we all were very happy and warm. Early morning, while we were brushing our teeth, Parag went to Nippa and asked him for the toothpaste. Nippa was sleepy and so was Parag. In this daze, Nippa extracted the tube of Odomos from my pouch and handed it to Parag. Parag blissfully unaware, used the Odomos, and after 5 mins he realised that his toothpaste had no froth. We were rofl so hard we had to hold our stomachs for an hour. Parag is know re-christened "GODOMOS".
Somehow, I picked myself up, and after an eventful bus ride from Shivpuri to Rishikesh and a connecting ride from Rishikesh to Haridwar, we reached Hotel Alaknanda. This was where we would stay for the next two days.
The ride was eventful. One idiotic and clumsy gentleman on the bus managed to bang his very heavy bag right on my head, and went off without batting an eyelid. This led to the invocation of the word "JhatBuddhi". Another one of my creations, added to our Group patent.
We entered the Hotel lobby not knowing what to expect. But once we crossed the lobby, we fell in love with the place. The rooms were just the right size, with all the amenities one could ask for. The hotel led to a ghat on the banks of the river Ganga on the far side. One could sit there all day watching the mighty river flow.
I admit I spent about 3 hrs in total at the ghat doing something all my friends despised and which I myself have laughed off several times in the past.
But all in all, the effect was brilliant.
We spent the afternoon watching a very old movie starring Sanjeev Kumar and Sharmila Tagore. We were all particularly impressed by the style of swearing used by Sanjeev Kumar. "Teri Maa ka".
All the others except me, Nippa and Prateek had gone to see the Evening Aarti of the Ganga. After that it was dinner at the "Asli Mashoor Chotiwala" consisting of Aloo Parathas. Back to the hotel and retired for the day. The bright spot of the day was when Nippa found a packet of Menthols for Prateek. Suddenly the two of them were the best of friends and all animosity was forgotten.

Northern Sojourn: Day 5

2009-01-18T21:59:00.000-08:00

Cozy and warm in the family suite we had booked, the morning of the 5th day dawned on us, as we prepared to visit the temple of "Mansa Devi". Me, Nippa, Prateek and Yash camped in the suite on the first floor, while Niranjan, Arvind, Kunal and Parag camped in the suite below.
After a quick bath, we embarked on a tour of Haridwar. After the steep climb on the way to the temple, where we were witness to the wonderful civilisation of the monkeys, we reached the temple. In groups of 4 we visited the shrine. Me, Nippa and Niranjan devoured some delightful Samosa, Kachoris and Jalebis at the temple canteen. The descent was quick and enjoyable. Within no time we were at the "Asli Mashoor Chotiwala" and it was here that we enjoyed some heavenly "Chole Bhaturas". Prateek warned me of some impending disaster that was eating at his senses nad excused himself to go stand on the banks of the river Ganga.
After lunch, we were off to visit the gigantic and awesome statue of Mahadev, erected in the city. After an enjoyable hour there, in which we managed to obtain some brilliant Patelshots, we trudged back to the Hotel.
It was evening, when Nippa took me, Yash and Prateek for a puff and Tea to add flavor. Needless to say, the Tea was out of this world. I fell in love with the tea and soon gulped down no less than 3 cups.
Soon it was time to go and one dinner later, we were on the "Vikram", back to Haridwar station, to get on the train that was to take us to Delhi.
The train arrived on time and after an eventful and enlightening night during which me, Prateek and Yash made certain shocking revelations, it was time to sleep and look forward to day 6.

Northern Sojourn: Day 6

2009-01-18T21:37:00.001-08:00

The train pulls into Old Delhi station. We all get off, heavily apprehensive. Old Delhi station is obscenely huge, with the platform system being a touch too confusing for a Mumbaikar. Somehow we get out, avoiding the rungs of Rickshaw wallas trying to woo us with supposedly alluring offers. We manage to get details of the nearest Metro station, which turned out to be Chandni Chowk.
We entered the Metro station, purchase smart cards, which allowed the holder to roam about all day on any line of the Metro, no questions asked. Which was good. We don't like questions.
Taking the metro, we got off at New Delhi station on the Metro, took an auto, and dumped our stuff at the place where we were putting up for the day. Despite all botherations, I have to admit, the Chicken Grilled Sandwich they had on their menu was brilliant. After 3 days of "ghaspus", we finally got to indulge our taste for meat.
After this short halt, we were off to Connaught Place, now known as Rajiv Chowk. Another short ride in the Metro and there we were. Most of my friends were awestruck at the sight of hundreds of cherubic, nubile nymphettes around. Size-Zero was running through each of their heads.
After agitated conversations on how each of their girlfriends matched up to these high standards, a disappointed bunch left for our hotel. I must admit, I picked up a Mumbai Indians cap from the Connaught Place outlet of Adidas, and buying that cap in Delhi adds to it's sentimental value.
Back to the hotel we trudged, another round of chicken grilled Sandwich and soon it was time to be off to the station for our last train journey. The journey back home.
As we reached the station, it was announced that our train would be 30 minutes late.
Angry, tired and frustrated, we were resigned to fact and rested our world-weary arses on the station benches.
The train did arrive, although 45 minutes late. We got on, aware of the facts that it was a minimum of 21 hrs before we would finally say that the trip was over. A good night's sleep and before we could realise it, 'twas day 7.

Northern Sojourn: Day 7

2009-01-18T21:25:00.000-08:00

Everyone is wary of the fact that in spite of having travelled for about 12 hrs, we seem to have reached nowhere. The train is apparently running 4.5 hrs late, and that, approximately, puts our arrival time at somewhere aroundd midnight. We're all agitated and after 7 days away from home looking at the same 7 faces time and again, we don't blame each other.
Finally, we reach Ratlam. We jump off the train and buy some junk to chomp on the train. As soon as we'r back on, an old beggar comes up. In our agitated states, we simply told the beggar to move ahead. The beggar came up with an astonishing observation and here I quote "Aaj kal ke bacchon ko charbi chad gayi hai!"
(meaning today's generation is too irreverent)
Another short nap after that and by the time it was evening, everyone was prepared to go home. To pass the final few hours, Yash confronted Arvind about a certain "acquaintance" of his with whom he conversed for approximately an hour under roaming charges when at times, he wouldn't answer our calls citing the obscene roaming charges as an excuse. The rest of the time was spent in trying to weed a confession out of Arvind. Time fruitlessly wasted, if I may add. "Nippa" baba was at his adventurous best, trying out each bathroom turn after turn, filling each one with the heavenly aroma of Classic Milds. Finally at about 9.21, me, Kunal and Parag got off the train at Borivali and thanks to dad, got a ride back home which was much more comfortable than anything we'd had for the last 7 days.
Peace.

The "****" effect

2009-01-05T04:46:00.000-08:00

My followers(who sum up to grand total of 3 including myself), have been seriously depraved of reading some really good stuff on my blog for the last month or two. This owing to my fantastically elongated examination period, which by the way stretches for 27 days to accommodate 5 papers.
As I unleash this here post, I still have two more papers to worry about, but my blog deserves some attention I guess. So here I am, at the very beginning of a new year, writing about certain arbit things, which I'm sure, no one is interested in knowing.
Most people plunge head first into the world of "New Year resolutions". That world I believe, runs on a parallel time dimension, where time destroys everything in a week or two. If you're exceptionally strong in the head, I'll give you a month. Not longer though.
I for one don't make any resolutions. Yet amazingly, this year, I find myself embarking on a self improvement spree. The reason for this spree, my dear readers, is a certain special, omnipotent, all knowing, ever-lasting effect.
The effect is patented and owned by a person, who unfortunately hasn't yet given me rights to use the name. So we shall have to suffice by saying that it is THE "****" EFFECT.
The special parts about this effect are, it does not work on anyone except me. Also, the rewards on offer for improving one self under the influence of this magical effect are truly "out-of-this-world". I simply write all this so that one day when I'm awesomely improved, I can look back and remind myself of how it all started.
Point noted. Effect sucked.

Passing thought

2008-11-23T01:34:00.000-08:00

Slumdog Millionaire. The new movie everyone's raving about. Probably deservedly so(because I haven't seen the movie and am in no position to judge it). It talks about a slum kid who appears on Kaun Banega Crorepati and wins the show.
But my point is not the book, nor it's premise.
When I read stuff about this book, it's the way people say the slums and the poverty and the sheer apathy shown in the movie/written in books such as Maximum City, Slumdog Millionaire etc is the "REAL INDIA".
I agree totally when you point out that India has slums, poverty and more than it's fair share of unscrupulous people, but in compensation, India also has brilliant infrastructure, a strong foundation of education, India has some amazing cities and beautiful sights and historic places.
What I mean to say is, you cannot simply magnify a singular part of an entity and identify it with that single attribute. The "REAL INDIA", is the sum of it's parts. It is an amalgamation of villages, slums, towns and cities. Of poverty, mediocrity, riches and more. Just like you cannot say for example that New York City is the "REAL AMERICA" or for that matter that Eastern Europe is the "REAL EUROPE".
Examples taken are purely those that spring to my mind immediately and may or may not appear relevant or conclusive to you.
But the message I wish to convey is, India is more than just the sum of it's parts. When even the sum of it's parts cannot completely depict India, how can you try to summarize our country in a single strata of society.
Peace.

Ad infinitum

2008-11-21T05:00:00.000-08:00

I head into my end of semester exams in about a fortnight's time, and all that my acquaintances ask me is how much progress I have made with my syllabus.
As a rule, during the preparatory leaves, I lead a totally unsocial life. This includes not stepping out of my house for days on end. I love being holed up without being in touch with anyone. Some people do stay in touch, somehow or the other(curse mobile communications) but that I tolerate more as a formality.
What I hate most about mobile communications is messaging. I hate messaging. I prefer calls anyday, but there is a distinguished class of the public who are too busy to pick up calls or do not attend to calls and hence as a direct consequence, you have to message them. I am now looking for a cell phone that does not have the "sms/mms/ems" functions. Sort of like a reverse pager.(A pager was a phone without calls and facilitated reading of messages for the uninitiated).
But sometimes messaging does help.(very rarely)
I also happen to know that none of the people who are referred to in the above post, will have the inclination to read a blog, hence the freedom with which i unleash ab imo pectore.
The consequence of this being that I have now become a long haired pillock with an untamed stubble who has no love of civilisation. Indirectly, you can say I've become something of a caveman albeit without the trademark sexual urges and lack of hygiene.
The effect that the P.L has on me is amazing, I am a different person when I have college to attend though I must admit, I prefer the P.L version of me.
As and when I find a mobile with the features I so crave, I shall be kind enough to post a picture of the same on this here page.
Peace.

Wordplay

2008-10-31T01:13:00.000-07:00

Wordplay is amazing. Have you ever noticed how there are a lot of words which basically mean the same, yet, when used in place of one another, do not give you the same idea.
Let me cite an example:
When a person loves jazz music, you can call him a "Jazz Aficionado".
At the same time, you cannot call a person who loves metal, a "Metal Aficionado".
Makes him sound like a pussy. Metalhead is a more accurate description.

Many more may spring to your mind. Leave your ideas in the comments.
Peace.

Mind Maze

2008-10-13T07:38:00.000-07:00

The human mind seems to be very fickle. Please note, I say seems to be very fickle, and not is very fickle.
There is a pronounced difference between the two statements. To the untrained, unharnessed mind, there may be no visible difference between the two. But, the fact here is that, the large droves of humans that inhabit the earth, have absolutely no control over their minds or their egos.
To judge every situation, every person without any strings attached, that is, to take one's ego out of the equation, and to assess every situation unemotionally.
A calm and non-partisan overview at everything of consequence.
It is essential to analyze each and everything that comes to one's attention. It leads to a greater awareness of oneself and of the supreme truth.
The supreme truth being that, you cannot gain wisdom reading a random blog by an arbit Assclown and expect to become the next messiah for mankind. And anyways, if I had any idea how to do all the said stuff, I wouldn't be writing shite posts on my not-so-popular blog would I?
Perhaps that's the reason we're still human, and why you're still reading my blog instead of getting the f**k out of here and continuing your search for the supreme truth. My guess is you'll most likely find it here.
Thank you for wasting your delightfully useless time trying to make sense out of this piece of typing practise.
Yours truly.

The dynamics of a Bhok

2008-09-26T09:38:00.000-07:00

We all have a lot of cliche's attributed to us at some point in our life(OK, not a lot, but considering that I'm an amazing motormouth, I do). I'm guilty of bringing a lot of innocuous, ignored words, into daily use of a lot of people(read the crowd in my college) with amazing interpretations.
One such word is Bhok.
So let me embark on my theory, and explain my premise and my philosophy.
The world, my dear readers, is a huge, never-ending, deep, drawing, unquenchable void. We are all pulled into it at some point of time and strive throughout our lives to condemn our worries and problems(sometimes even people) to this void. This void, is THE BHOK.

We live our lives, enchanted, at times ensnared by the Bhok. Always inquisitive, always attracted by it's magical ways, awestruck by it's magnanimous presence.

Now I explain to the rational mind:
In technical terms, the Bhok is a Stack. All our worries are pushed to the Bhok. The only catch here is that, this Bhok stack doesn't come with a pop operation. The push function is called by saying aloud "Bhokat".

The Bhok doesn't need typecasting. It is flexible and can contain any worry type.
The Bhok is universally public and can be called from any place, anytime.
The Bhok is universally inherited and can be called by anyone in need.
The Bhok is indestructible, by deletion, destruction, uninstallation or what you may.

The Bhok is the singularity that engulfs us all and pervades our existence. It existed when nothing else did and will continue to exist when everything else ceases. A Bhok is the logical analogy of a gravitational Black Hole. Only difference being:

Bhok >>>> Black Hole

Period.

I have devoted my life towards a greater understanding of this amazingly awesome colossal figure which is not just a beacon of hope but an entire 12000kw floodlight of hope for the distressed and forlorn.

May the Bhok be with you!

\m/

Pedophobia

2008-09-07T09:23:00.000-07:00

NOTE: Title says pedoPHOBIA not pedoPHILIA you perverted jerk!!!

Have you ever noticed how kids seem to get on your nerves, no matter how tiny they are in comparison to you. Kids (though not all of them) are amazingly, awe-inspiringly irritating.

Kids seem to come in different types. I could just forgive you for thinking that it's the pampered baby-elephant types who manage to take the piss out of you. Trust me, it's the scrawny ones that take the mickey outta me.

At this very moment, as I type these here sentences, the scrawny bugger is standing right next to me, watching intently at every word I type, not able to decipher shit(though I'm sure the stuff I type is not encrypted). This bairn here must be about 5 years old, but I'm pretty sure, he could successfully make an elephant shit in frustration. (no hyperbole).

It's the first time he's visited, Dad's C.A's son by the look of it. And somehow, my mom thinks the twirp is cute and oh so nice. Their parents think they're the greatest creation the almighty has blessed them with. /*Content edited due to fear of parents */. I'd rather not get into details, but I'm pretty sure this must have been the case(amazed at own imagination and sits with a proud smirk on his face).

These twirps follow some universal law of inverse proportion.

Size of twirp is inversely proportional to irritation quotient.

Smaller the twirp, the worse, with absolutely no language in common, he can still strike up a conversation with you, and having passed my grunt age 18 years ago, I can make nor head nor tail of what this guy is saying.

And these twirps always have to be the guys. Small girls don't talk to 20 year old part uncle/part bhaiyya looking dudes.

But the brighter side is, this twirp gets excited every time I switch over to the Goal.com website.
So I guess testosterone runs in his blood long before his balls are fully functional.

I'd call this twirp a young dude, but some one's warned me not to go around calling random guys dudes. I doubt that person will ever read my blog, but you never know.

If you've been troubled by young shitler's ever, pointers on how to piss them off will be appreciated. Leave a comment.

P.S: I found a way to piss the twirp off, I started writing my journals, this guy hung around for 2 minutes, before he realised that I was writing. Amazing how Sophophobia kicks in at such an early age in us guys eh? I'm perfectly sure, a small li'l girl would love to write and draw and (shudders at his own thought) .....you get the point.

He just turned his gross ass and left my vicinity and kept his distance(Must have thought I'm one of those nerdy types, Not to say I care). If it keeps him away, that's good enough for me.

P.S: This jerk has an awesome IQ, I admire and toally dig this dude

Quid pro quo

2008-09-05T08:16:00.000-07:00

Social rules are amazing, aren't they? Over the years, man created these rules to structure society and to establish a sense of confidence in one another through communication, which he believed would lead to greater understanding among individuals resulting in development of isolated social groups. This has held true and has stood the test of time. For over centuries, man has developed complex, yet inherent, austere, yet implicit rules and norms for behavior.
Yet, today as we stand on the brink of the great Intelligence shift which basically heralds the arrival of A.I on a truly large scale, man has started to breach those very rules and norms which have resulted in his rise through nature's vast ranks to reach the apex of the pyramid.
Through so called social networking capacities, people can spew stuff with absolute dour insolence and wipe their conscience clean. Humans are slowly relinquishing moral responsibilities towards society and revelling in the rule of the wild that exists within the immense void that is the Internet. When CERN gave us the net, it was for betterment of communication within geographically isolated humans amongst various other purposes.
But as we have started hiding behind our virtual selves, behind the paradoxically vulnerable image of invulnerability, we have also started the count towards the day when humans will cease to reside at the very top of the pyramid. Having ruthlessly worked our way to the top, disturbing nature and her very bosom, we have dug our own grave. As we now undo the strings that bind us we shall no longer remain "us". The virtual world at some point spills over into the real one, and before long, it engulfs the real one and the difference is lost in transit.
Over the years as we strive harder to improve the effectivity of A.I,as we toil to make a machine as seamlessly human as possible, we do not realise that we ourselves are becoming as machine-like as possible. Every step that machines take towards humans, we humans take two steps towards being like them.
People always try to hide behind the blind that humans have distinctive characteristics of emotions and spontaneity which A.I can never have. At the rate we're going, those distinctive characteristics will be mere victims of evolution and mother nature will have the last laugh as we fall prey to our own brainchild.
I guess that is why they say, "Everything comes at a price". And the price has to be paid one day or the other.

Warming up

2008-08-18T08:12:00.000-07:00

These times are not fair. I for one am honestly dejected. People my age or probably a year or two older, are in prime positions around the world. Take the example of Bilawal Bhutto, the heir of the Bhutto clan, today speaks about Pervez Musharraf and his resignation from the Presidency.

Yours sincerely meanwhile hardly has a say in the committee of his college students association. I am used to people conveniently forgetting that I am a part of the organisation. And as for the president, and here I quote "Woh, saala batlya, woh G.S hai? Aisa G.S hota hai kya?"

Translation: That guy? That shorty? He's the G.S? Do they still make them like that these days?(the thoughts quoted above are not those of the writer and simply express a point of view attributed to a person who has been classified as absconding after making these here comments)

Amazing parity innit?
You've got Lionel Messi playing for his country at Beijing 2008.And here I am done with the league campaign for the year, scoring a modest 7 goals in 7 games. Somehow, I feel happy that the media doesn't hound me, that I can move about at will, without the fear of being recognised.Everything comes at a price they say.
I am not a nobody (that I can assure myself atleast) but neither am I a SOMEBODY. I am somewhere bridging the gap between being a nobody and being a SOMEBODY.But onr thing's for sure, I will be a SOMEBODY, without a shred of a doubt.
Till then, I guess my claims to fame will be my poor old blog, with a sum readership of 2, and my team (I am a pretty decent goalscorer as a matter of fact).
MY rants shall continue. Amen!

R.I.P

2008-07-26T01:21:00.000-07:00

The female of our species has often been a bone of contempt for the largely unaware and blissful male populace. I am no exception. And should any reader apart from myself, stumble upon this post, neither will he. But that is not my topic. It was simply a means to draw your attention. (apologies).
I recently watched the movie everyone's rambling about. Yeah, if you haven't guessed it right, you're probably from Lesotho or some place where they don't have electricity. Every bit of praise I hear from all corners, every accolade attributed to the movie, is because of one person. Heath Ledger. R.I.P. A posthumous oscar awaits, I am sure, but lets look at it from a wider perspective.
Christian Bale as the Batman does not have much scope for improvisation. How can he show facial expressions behind his mask. Batman is a cult, and you have to stick to the script. Probably as Bruce Wayne, yeah. The Joker however, is an entirely different ball game. He is a crazy, maniacal, normal man, defeated by circumstance. Plenty of scope for personal touches. This is where Ledger scores. His ruthless, careless, brilliantly on the edge performance endears him to the masses. But Christian Bale was good as well.
The only grievance I had in the movie was Maggie Gyllenhall. She looked more like an old woman, and Katie Holmes is a tough act to follow anyways. But the way the story moved is fantastic. Morgan Freeman, Gary Oldman, awesome as usual, and Aaron Eckhart as Two-face Harvey Dent manages to hold his own.
I am soon planning to watch this movie a second time.
P.S: Top of the IMDB lists within 2 weeks of it's release is something. Considering that it even beat the Godfather series to reach the spot, amazing.
In any case, movies like these make my life, anyone still raving about the movie referred to in the post below?

HappYness in Chaos.

2008-07-12T12:04:00.000-07:00

Thomas Jefferson and the chaos theory aren't two names one would expect to hear in the same breath(figuratively which is saying that they aren't expected to be seen in the same sentence).
The pioneer and the chief author of the American Independence, while drafting the Declaration of American Independence, chose these very words and here I quote "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."
The pursuit of Happiness, the American Dream. I watched a movie starring Will Smith with the title The Pursuit of Happyness. The spelling error being a deliberate reference to an incident in the movie. Despite all cliches about people having to fight and ultimately win and all other bull crap, this movie is brilliant. Will Smith for one moment does not strike you as Will Smith. From the minute the movie starts, to the end, he is Chris Gardner. He blends into the role seamlessly and displays all the emotions of a man who is a victim of circumstance, stricken with poverty, homeless, yet with the fight, the bottle, the conviction and the courage to claim his federal, his divine right, The pursuit of happiness. There is no divine intervention in this movie, not for one second do you feel like, " aw...there you go, that never happens does it". Everything real, all the emotions, the situations and the characters.
Watching such movies makes you feel so much better about your lives. Must watch.
Now I come to the latter name in my opening sentence. The chaos theory.
The Chaos theory, in principle, explains the behavior of certain systems whose state evolves with time. It can be explained in a gist as "Something as tiny, as inconsequential (to the unaware) as the flutter of a Butterfly, can have an effect as gigantic as a typhoon halfway round the world." Now simply, I state this because I watched another movie today, called "The Butterfly Effect". Now if I could, I definitely would like to give a spoiler of this movie, but this sci-fi fantasy flick is so brilliantly written that I could go on and there would be no end. So simply check out the story on Wiki.
All I'd like to comment is, Ashton Kutcher is one dude who can play such roles effortlessly. I've watched a few of his movies, and believe me, this guys got much more behind him than just being Demi Moore's boyfriend.
Another movie to catch.

Two movies heavy on EQ definitely seem to have taken their toll on my emotional well being. But watching such movies makes me view our people as generally shallow.
People wallowing endlessly about a Hindi movie I paid 180 bucks to watch the other day. It stars the nephew of a prominent star and is a teenie flick. Everyone around me left, right and centre has being harping about the movie and people even have their Orkut display names proclaiming the name of the movie. I frankly did not find the movie to be an intelligent one or for that matter brilliant. The only brilliant actor in the movie was in a bit part role playing the brother of the leading lady.
Such movies put into perspective the depth of thought of the people of my generation. But these people form the vast majority. Makes me wonder who watches the kind of films like the previous ones anyways.

Manmohan Singh - Duke Nukem Ph.D?

2008-07-10T08:02:00.000-07:00

Over the past few months, all the media and the common man on the street have been talking about ( apart from the occasional babes and inflation) is the Indo-US nuclear deal.
Absurd though it may appear, I at the outset, firmly believed (with utmost conviction) that the deal was a horrible brokering of our country's Nuclear Independence and Development.
It kind of felt like Manmohan Singh was Yudhisthir, India was Draupadi, and the IAEA as Duryodhana egged on by the evil mamu Sakuni, Uncle Sam. Remember the epic dice game!
I do have a very vivid imagination, and I do exhibit a blatant exhibition of it in the above citing.
Point to be driven home being that, something wasn't right. I was of the opinion that since the deal would inhibit the nuclear sovereignty of the nation, we should have rejected it at first go.
Week after week, I heard opinion after opinion, still unable to form one of my own.
Until recently that is. When Dr. A.P.J.Abdul Kalam comes out and says that this deal should go through, I guess it is hard to speak out against it. Not only because of the undoubted brilliance of the man, but also his unwavering integrity and his credibility. A man of his stature does not comment on any issue without putting in serious thought.
That for me was enough to swing my vote the Nuke deal way. I admire and completely respect Dr. Kalam and for me his word is final. Period.
Circa July 2008, the left shake their collective fists (pun on the word collective) at the congress and withdraw support. Enter Vote of Trust.
Now, as a first time voter, I ought to be enthralled and excited by the possibility of the nation going to polls so early.
But, if truth be told, I am not. The elections will cost the nation a bomb, destroy the image of the country in the International Community and worst of all, give all the unsocial elements free reign to wag their puny tails.
A few crores will change hands ( and probably bags) reach the homes of certain people ( read MP) and the vote of trust will become a farce.
Either ways, the trust is directly proportional to the number of Gandhi's in the bag. And there's two Gandhis on the outside who can affect that. All that remains to be seen is will the Green Gandhi's turn the tide in favor of their namesakes or against them.

Singularity

2008-07-08T05:49:00.000-07:00

Just the other day, I recieved the June copy of IEEE spectrum. Apart from some thought provoking and some ultra techno-crap-call it what you may stuff, the cover story read Singularity. Now this was something that caught my eye.

For the uninitiated, singularity is a concept which is applicable in a wide range of topics. Basically, a plethora of conceptual pot-pourri. Singularity, for example, can mean a mathematical singularity wherein a mathematical object cannot exist at a given point. ( Learnt that in semester 4, I did). It can also mean a Gravitational singularity wherein it refers to a point at which an object has infinte mass and zero volume due to gravitational peculiarities. Apologies for the digression.
But as I read on, I soon learnt that the singularity in question here was the one pertaining to artificial intelligence. The article said that over the years, as humans have ceaselessly worked to create A.I, we have slowly but surely increased the capabilities to such an extent, that soon it will be beyond the ken of man to control these machines. The singularity will occur when Artificial intelligence matches human intelligence.
That had me thinking. It's all okay to say that A.I. will not reach our I.Q levels for a long time. But that refers to us (bless me) higher intellectuals. What about those unfortunate few who have brains the size of walnuts and could probably draw a game of chess with a grizzly?
The singularity has passed for these citizens and they are being over-awed by these machines.
We should talk to these victims of the Intelligence shift and gauge the effects of the singularity. It would be a momentous thesis, enabling us higher mortals to endure the celestial A.I. singularity if and when it exists.
If this does go through, will I, like Hawking before me, enter the realms of science history as an immortal. It's up for debate. Don't bet against it though.

What time is it?

2008-06-25T11:11:00.000-07:00

My board exams and the league season have been the major hindrance that have kept me from updating my blog for the past month or two, thereby saddening my entire readership network which amounts to a sum total of two (including me).
The Mumbai University and The Mumbai District Football Association have impeded my meteoric progress in the blogosphere by scheduling gruelling engineering second year semester 4 exams and division 5 league matches respectively in this time period.
Strictly going by order of preferrence, I would prefer playing 5 football matches in one day rather than give 1 examination in 5 days (hyperbole to be accepted without challenge). The exam "mentality" managed to screw up my teams chances of winning the league this season. The major contributing factor being that out of the 11 starters, 6 are studying to be engineers.
After a 3-0 victory and 8-0 trouncing of some poor guys in this time frame, we succumbed to two goalless draws leaving everyone except our goalkeeper extremely dejected. ( Anyways, it is quite hard to get our goalie to lose his spirits, though I have no clue whether his happy-go-lucky attitude is on account of his "lack of IQ" and "supposed abundance of AQ".)
Also the primary objective of every M.U student is to attain a minimum of 40 marks in every paper(though for a vast majority, the specified minimum is also the maximum). So, you see where I have been directing all my efforts. And did I mention that I also scored three goals for my team in the course of the two victories we gathered over this month.
There you go.
The sole objective of this post is to show all of you that I am a bloody good football player, and am also not vertically, horizontally or transcendentally or visually or otherwise challenged. And I will not be offended in any way if you consider me a stud.
:-D

Lethargy: Repose en Paix

2008-05-08T20:05:00.000-07:00

To tell the truth, I am an extremely lazy person. It is a part of my personality to be sleeping all day on the couch, watching the "idiot box"(I despise that name, because for me, it is only idiots who find something as wonderfully divine as the television, to be an idiot box) or probably dozing off. When my mum asks me how I can manage to be stationary in one place for so long, I often tell her that it's inertia.

For the uninitiated, or rather, the uneducated, because I am so very sure that every education board in India,(yes, even the Mizoram board of secondary education) has inertia in it's syllabus somewhere around the 6th standard. (If you're reading a blog and you haven't passed standard 6, I'll be mighty amazed), inertia is the ability of a body to maintain it's state of rest or of uniform motion unless an external force acts upon it. I guess I have succinctly explained the term in layman's language.

Digression necessary: Layman, that is one term I fail to understand. I have researched the etymology of the word and I have come to understand that it actually stands for people who do not belong to the clergy. By that definition I guess even Galileo had to be a layman, because there is no way a heretic could be clergy. By the natural dilution and mutation of the word thanks to Chronos, it now reads lay instead of laity. It sounds more like some crazy dude, high on testosterone addicted to getting laid rather than an unscientific, uneducated ox which by the way, both mean the same either ways. So there you go!

Now back to the topic. When I use the word inertia, my mum tends to use the word lethargy. Now that is a big word with many possible meanings. I decided to look up the word and the results I found were quite interesting. Lethargy stands for a state of sluggishness, inactivity or fatigue. An apt way to say, in short, ME. Now when you look up lethargy on wikipedia, it redirects you to fatigue.

Fatigue can be both physical and mental. Physical fatigue is not something I face often, considering that I am a professional Football player and being a winger requires me to be one of the fittest players on the field having to cover up to 10 kms/match. But mental fatigue is something I am extremely familiar with. Having to wake up each day, having to go through another 24 hours as an earthling, it's emotionally draining, if you get my drift.

I also read that chronic fatigue(long lasting fatigue) is a symptom for various conditions. Now that got me thinking. As far as I remember, I have always been lethargic and hence according to wiki at least, I suffer from fatigue. Hence that means I probably have chronic fatigue and that makes me a possible patient of say Anxiety, Cancer, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Endometriosis, Fibromyalgia, Hemochromatosis and a whole load of other not so interesting diseases. Coming to think of it, wiki also believes that I might be Pregnant, but I think that we may discount that possibility on the basis of the vital information that I am virgin. Oh, and I forgot to mention, I am a descendant of Adam...so that decides it. At least I am not going to conceive.

Wiki further suggests that I may be suffering from Combat stress disorder. Now that is a huge possibility considering the fact that I have to battle my way throughout the day against all odds(viz. society, people, earthlings, people, animals, chores, earthlings) in order to successfully waste as much time as possible from the 24 hrs allocated by God Almighty so kindly. But I think I can safely "rest" with the knowledge that this condition is incurable and I shall have to do only things that I can enjoy while laying back on a couch, and thankfully writing a blog is one of them.

Prison Break

2008-05-08T02:44:00.000-07:00

I have always wondered how my mum, with all due respect, can bear to watch these serials which seem to go on and on forever. I was always of the opinion that human interest in a particular subject is limited and change is the only thing which refreshes that interest. Every show needs to stop and a new show needs to come out in it's place to keep the channel trps up.
But now i realise how wrong i was.

Recently on the advise of some friend of mine, i started watching this series called Prison break. It's about how the hierarchy in the U.S federal services actually runs the country using the president as their pawn.(Though a certain George W may disagree). They implicate an innocent man Lincoln Burrows for the murder of the VP's bro. His brother, the hero of this series, a god as far as i am concerned, Michael Scofield, realises that his brother is innocent. Any loving brother in this situation, i am sure, would go to court seeking justice. This is exactly what Scofield does, albeit in a completely different manner.

He studies the inmates of the Fox River state penitentiary, their case histories, their backgrounds and does a complete analysis of the guards. By a stroke of luck and it is here that I sense the flaw, he is a structural engineer, and it was his partner who had the blueprint for the penitentiary. So this dude Scofield gets the entire blueprint scaled to size and tattooed onto his body. He goes and fires a pistol in a bank he has no intention of robbing(because he is quite rich anyways) kinda like a dog running after a cab he has no intention of hiring. But thanks to this little incident, the judge sees it incumbent that he see the inside of a jail cell and sentences him to a year at Fox River. Voila. Stage I successful. Once he gets inside, he has reps on the outside who are working their arses out(figuratively and anyways they keep getting killed one by one by a group of federal agents called the company) just to figure out the undercurrents in this case.

For the first time in my life, I actually empathised with them inmates. Bellick, the jailer is brilliantly despicable and T-Bag as the bad man inmate is awesome. I am so inspired by Scofield that I am actually thinking of having my hair cut exactly like him. I guess that will be difficult since for the past 4 years I have had my hair like Becks trademark unkempt look, but the transition, I guess will be smooth.

Until next time blog!!

P.S: There's this character who appears in the second season called Mahon who is as intelligent as Scofield (after a tablet of Metamphetamine) and guesses exactly what Scofield had planned during and after the breakout. Though I personally don't advocate the use of "Met" for enhancing your alertness, this guy is some dude!!

United pour la vie!

2008-05-07T06:23:00.000-07:00

As I lie on my bed, wondering what worse can happen, what further doubts do i have to entertain? How long will this tension last? How do i come out of this?

I can completely forgive you for thinking that these here lines were spoken by some cranky old whore in the dirtiest street in Eastern Europe. But, in fact these were the exact same thoughts that I had as I saw Chelsea win against Newcastle with relative ease and poise.
The premiership is now finely balanced with everything to play for on the very last day.
Here I quote some arbit dude from one of my friends orkut list and he says "Mann.....isn't it amazing that United are playing on Sunday at 7.30 and so are Chelsea, great co-incidence...this is going to be fantastic to watch....switching between channels with the excitement at a max!!!"
All I can say to this is that this dude sure hasn't watched the last day of the Premiership for a long long time. I say this because, for reasons related to the Integrity and Honesty of the league, the F.A always has conducted the fixtures on the last day at the same time. All matches kick off simultaneously on the final day of the season to avoid any match fixing scandals.
This is the breed of fans we're getting nowadays and I guess this will continue for some time to come.
I believe that we should let results speak for themselves. I rest my case till the 22nd of May.
That is when you'll really know how this season shaped out.
Moscow is where all eyes will be on the 21st of May, but come the 11th, all eyes will surely be on the JJB stadium because the title is United's for the taking.

There's only one United.
P.S: I had a very important exam the day after the Barca Vs United fixture and I'd run the risk by staying up to watch the entire match, unlike most of my friends, if i may add. One of my friends asked me after the test whether it was so important to watch the match, and I told her, it was even more important than the test itself. All the United fans will know, it truly is.

Of Manchester, Rome and Fleet street!

2008-04-11T06:05:00.000-07:00

I would like to start this post with the vital information, that I, am a movie fanatic. Not any arbit movie, but movies with good stories and enthralling visuals. A day or two ago, I was(as were millions of other United fans) watching the United - Roma game . It was fantastic to see the awesome depth in our squad and the fact that we had Cristiano Ronaldo completely rested and raring to be unleashed against the Arsenal. If you're wondering why I'm talking about my allegiance to Manchester United, let me explain that, I, like every other united fan, am subject to abrupt and absurd mood swings, which in every way are completely related to Manchester United's form and results.
Now back to the original topic. After seeing United defeat Roma over 2 legs, and seeing United through to the semis for the second year running had given me a high similar to the high induced by perhaps a capsule of MET. In this uberconscious state, I decided at 0300 hrs in the morning, to finally watch a movie that I had been long postponing.
That movie, was Sweeney Todd, The Demon barber of Fleet Street. Now I don't think I am a movie critic. If I was, I'd be waxing eloquent about this movie, because it does enthrall you for most part. I recommend everyone watch it. It's gripping and sometimes grotesque. But the lead character played by Johnny Depp reaches out so well, you actually identify with all the inhuman acts he performs to gain his vengeance on the villain. Also the fact that it is a musical helps.
I rest with the following verse from the movie:
"There's a hole in the world like a big black pit,
filled with people who're filled with shit,
the vermin of the world inhabit it,
there's no place like London."

I like London and this verse does not reflect my opinion of the city. However during the entire course of the movie I actually thought of it that way and completely agreed when the protagonist sang:
"There's a hole in the world like a big black pit,
filled with people who're filled with shit,
the vermin of the world inhabit it,
but not for long."

Mine Metempsychosis

2008-04-09T07:43:00.000-07:00

I had created this blog about a year ago when I was completely naive. The sole reason I created this blog was because everyone was blogging and I was eager to jump on the blog bandwagon.
A year on, with a wiser head on my shoulders, I'm wondering what I was thinking when I named this blog "Headstone of Shit". Seriously I am no longer enamoured with the "shit" business. I now hope to continue blogging for all the right reasons and similarly hope that people will read my blog and give me their inputs/rants/advice!
Technobabble and/or Psychobabble are my strengths and I shall primarily rely upon them for filling up this blog of mine.
I hope to write in this blog once every week at the very least.
It sort of explains the name of the post. My blog has just reincarnated and will no longer speak the language of "shit".

Edit:I have successfully changed the title of the blog.

>>>Sweet Revenge<<<

2007-05-11T11:06:00.000-07:00

Finally after a month of misery watching all the rest of the cricketinng nations battling it out in the 2007 WC, I was overjoyed to see our beloved country beating the Bangladeshis. Not convincingly though, but it's a start.
As for personal revenge, my team has now lost to our local rivals 3 times in a row, a new low for us. We've forgotten the joy of playing football. I have now started playing with noobs and suckers so that i can gain some much needed confidence before getting back to the local football scene. A little bit of steel won't hurt though. I'm thinking of working my 2 break months out in the Gym. As for the approaching exams......I'm lost for words. Will be back soon. I know no one reads this. Do they?

>>Talisman<<

2007-04-15T01:37:00.000-07:00

Has been one hell of a week hasn't it?
Man utd beating Roma like they were a bunch of amatuers sunday league footballers if you like it. Then watford on the weekend. The only blip on an otherwise perfect week was my bloody chemistry professor, who refuses to sign my journal work. The bloody scrotum sucking, ball eating, menses drinking ass of a man calls me at 4 to get my journal checked and tells me to come along with all my other journals. 4 kilos of shit in my bag, I wait outside his office for an hour and then his peon tells me, "Sir has gone home for the day!". Next time he meets me, its zero respect, zero cordialness, I'm going to give him as bad as I get.
First year is over, exams are approaching. In the midst of all this, i managed to drag myself into another controversy. My football team had a match, didn't call me for the match, lost badly and then were playing blame games all over the town. Now as if all is forgotten, they've called me back, they need their talisman don't they ;)!!!
As I'm finishing this, I'm off to another match, a derby, another team from the same locality. I hope to lay my demons to rest, score a bloody satisfying hattrick and f%^* my exams in peace!
As long as I'm alive, shit will never go outta fashion!!!!

>>Nooblogger<<<

2007-03-30T12:05:00.000-07:00

This is my first damn blog........so that makes me a noob in the blogging world.......that's what the name suggests...noob-blogger.
I ain't much of a brain. the headstone of shit is where shit is glorified....not shit as in shit...but the kind of shit...everyone wants to hear.....but no one wants to say.....you'll read my blog abusing one person or the other from any field day after day....i don't have anything personal...but that'sa just entertainment isn't it...?
One man's food is another man's posion.....each to his own.....I'll have you hooked on....