Northern Sojourn: Day 1

It was early morning on the 12th of January. We were all set for a backpacking trip of the Northern side of our country. 8 of us, it was. The short train ride to Kurla was non-eventful.
We got ourselves a ride to Bandra Terminus. It was me, Niranjan and Kunal in the taxi. Our taxi driver was something else. This guy was right outta a video game.
He drifted along the long winds near BKC, merrily drove his old FIAT at 80 and was blissfully ignorant of all driving rules and lane-discipline known to mankind.
At one particular signal, the stud from the outer lane, barged to turn to the right and managed to bring the taxi right in front of a truck and another taxi. we had our balls in our mouth, but thankfully, the truck driver braked in time to save our lives. Our taxi stud meanwhile started swearing at the other taxi driver. We were too relieved to say anything.
Soon we reached Bandra and after finding our way through the many people, we got onto the train. The hours between morning and night were passed normally, without any drama. A few card games, a few phone-calls et al.
It was 3 in the night when terror struck. We realised that we were no longer in Maharashtra or Gujarat. The cold was unbearable. Several jackets, sweaters, gloves and skull caps later, we were at peace. This was our first encounter with "Thandi", which would go on to become our slogan throughout this trip.
As we went to sleep, the only thoughts in our mind were about the next 6 days.
Delhi, here we come.

Northern Sojourn: Day 2

Morning it was, as we reached New Delhi station. Excited at the prospects that lay ahead of us for the next 5 days. Arvind, Yash and Prateek left to find us a place to keep our bags for the time being so that we could freshen up and wait for our TATA winger, which was to take us sight-seeing in Delhi.
Turns out, the only Hotel they found was a run down cheapo place. I was afraid they might be hiding webcams in the rooms. Prateek was mighty pissed. Not exactly the best start to the trip. But we tided over it. A few fights and one broken sofa later, we moved out into the Winger.
The Lotus temple was first up. After an inspiring hour at the temple, we left for the Qutub Minar. It was in the minar complex that the guys found that Chinese Girls could be cute as well. A few clicks here and there and we were off to Ghaziabad for lunch.
It was lunch at a small Dhaba. After relishing our butter chicken and rotis, Nippa was in his element, arranging for 8 cans of draught beer. One for each of us. Arvind was the only sourpuss.
Brilliant. In the evening, the Winger dropped us at Old Delhi. After ensuring that our bags were safe in the cloak room, we were off for a tour of Chandni Chowk.
Dozens of jalebis and Parathas later, we were all on the train to Haridwar. Our first eventful day on the trip.

Northern Sojourn: Day 3

We got off the train at Haridwar, amidst dense fog and intense cold. We got out of the station, knowing only the address of our Hotel in Shivpuri and nothing else.
Little did we know that this was going to be the most eventful day of our journey.
On our way to the Guest house in Shivpuri, we stopped by at the local water sports co-ordinator and booked ourselves a raft ride down the Ganges.
Off to the hotel, a quick change later, our jeep picked us up and took us to the starting spot for our raft ride.
Several Patelshots later, me, Niranjan and Kunal who were lagging behind the gang geared up for the ride.
Nippa was the first one to get himself geared up. Being afraid of water, he was particularly pleased that we were wearing life-jackets. This was when inspiration struck Arvind. For the first tie in his life, he managed to pull off a "Chance pe Dance". On seeing Nippa's happy face, he said, "Karkare was also looking like this wearing a life-jacket, before he came back dead."
(R.I.P Officer Hemant Karkare, no offense meant)
We all were amazed and aghast at the sudeen brilliance of this quip. Soon after a quick brief, we were on the raft. Several rapids later, (rapids which were a better experience than any roller coaster you may find) we reached the cliff jumping spot.
Yash, Arvind, Niranjan and Prateek signed up for the jump and successfully jumped from a height of 25 ft into the Ganga. All Guts, all Glory.
Soon we reached the end of our raft ride at Ram Jhula. Prateek and me found a treasure trove of knowledge at Ram Jhula in the form of "The Divine Life Society's Publicatons", where we picked up a number of great books.
Back to the Guest House it was. After having our baths, we realised that it utrned dark pretty soon in this part of the country. At 7.15, we trudged along searching a restaurant/dhaba where we could get something to eat. We did manage to find one after several trips across the bridge.
Many of us had egg-plant for the first time in our lives. But it was worth it. Nippa showed his negotiation skills again when he managed to obtain a bottle of Contessa XXX rum. Back to the hotel, with 3 bottles of Thums Up.
Nippa fixed us all a small each. And after downing our pegs, we all went to sleep.
Aah. sleep. The guest house attendant had provided us each with a blanket.
The blanket. It was love at first sight for me. Me and my blanket. It was so warm and so cozy when I crept into bed with my blanket. It was the best night I had for ages. I wanted to take the blanket back with me. This blanket was my love. And in her arms, I fell asleep.

Northern Sojourn: Day 4

Early morning, rise and shine. I sincerely didn't want to get out of bed. After the Contessa the night before, I just had the best night for the last 4 months with my beloved, my blanket. But like all good things, this had to end. Sadly I had to bid goodbye, and this would remain, a one night stand.
The most entertaining part of the morning was this incident.
After having rum the previous day, we all were very happy and warm. Early morning, while we were brushing our teeth, Parag went to Nippa and asked him for the toothpaste. Nippa was sleepy and so was Parag. In this daze, Nippa extracted the tube of Odomos from my pouch and handed it to Parag. Parag blissfully unaware, used the Odomos, and after 5 mins he realised that his toothpaste had no froth. We were rofl so hard we had to hold our stomachs for an hour. Parag is know re-christened "GODOMOS".
Somehow, I picked myself up, and after an eventful bus ride from Shivpuri to Rishikesh and a connecting ride from Rishikesh to Haridwar, we reached Hotel Alaknanda. This was where we would stay for the next two days.
The ride was eventful. One idiotic and clumsy gentleman on the bus managed to bang his very heavy bag right on my head, and went off without batting an eyelid. This led to the invocation of the word "JhatBuddhi". Another one of my creations, added to our Group patent.
We entered the Hotel lobby not knowing what to expect. But once we crossed the lobby, we fell in love with the place. The rooms were just the right size, with all the amenities one could ask for. The hotel led to a ghat on the banks of the river Ganga on the far side. One could sit there all day watching the mighty river flow.
I admit I spent about 3 hrs in total at the ghat doing something all my friends despised and which I myself have laughed off several times in the past.
But all in all, the effect was brilliant.
We spent the afternoon watching a very old movie starring Sanjeev Kumar and Sharmila Tagore. We were all particularly impressed by the style of swearing used by Sanjeev Kumar. "Teri Maa ka".
All the others except me, Nippa and Prateek had gone to see the Evening Aarti of the Ganga. After that it was dinner at the "Asli Mashoor Chotiwala" consisting of Aloo Parathas. Back to the hotel and retired for the day. The bright spot of the day was when Nippa found a packet of Menthols for Prateek. Suddenly the two of them were the best of friends and all animosity was forgotten.

Northern Sojourn: Day 5

Cozy and warm in the family suite we had booked, the morning of the 5th day dawned on us, as we prepared to visit the temple of "Mansa Devi". Me, Nippa, Prateek and Yash camped in the suite on the first floor, while Niranjan, Arvind, Kunal and Parag camped in the suite below.
After a quick bath, we embarked on a tour of Haridwar. After the steep climb on the way to the temple, where we were witness to the wonderful civilisation of the monkeys, we reached the temple. In groups of 4 we visited the shrine. Me, Nippa and Niranjan devoured some delightful Samosa, Kachoris and Jalebis at the temple canteen. The descent was quick and enjoyable. Within no time we were at the "Asli Mashoor Chotiwala" and it was here that we enjoyed some heavenly "Chole Bhaturas". Prateek warned me of some impending disaster that was eating at his senses nad excused himself to go stand on the banks of the river Ganga.
After lunch, we were off to visit the gigantic and awesome statue of Mahadev, erected in the city. After an enjoyable hour there, in which we managed to obtain some brilliant Patelshots, we trudged back to the Hotel.
It was evening, when Nippa took me, Yash and Prateek for a puff and Tea to add flavor. Needless to say, the Tea was out of this world. I fell in love with the tea and soon gulped down no less than 3 cups.
Soon it was time to go and one dinner later, we were on the "Vikram", back to Haridwar station, to get on the train that was to take us to Delhi.
The train arrived on time and after an eventful and enlightening night during which me, Prateek and Yash made certain shocking revelations, it was time to sleep and look forward to day 6.

Northern Sojourn: Day 6

The train pulls into Old Delhi station. We all get off, heavily apprehensive. Old Delhi station is obscenely huge, with the platform system being a touch too confusing for a Mumbaikar. Somehow we get out, avoiding the rungs of Rickshaw wallas trying to woo us with supposedly alluring offers. We manage to get details of the nearest Metro station, which turned out to be Chandni Chowk.
We entered the Metro station, purchase smart cards, which allowed the holder to roam about all day on any line of the Metro, no questions asked. Which was good. We don't like questions.
Taking the metro, we got off at New Delhi station on the Metro, took an auto, and dumped our stuff at the place where we were putting up for the day. Despite all botherations, I have to admit, the Chicken Grilled Sandwich they had on their menu was brilliant. After 3 days of "ghaspus", we finally got to indulge our taste for meat.
After this short halt, we were off to Connaught Place, now known as Rajiv Chowk. Another short ride in the Metro and there we were. Most of my friends were awestruck at the sight of hundreds of cherubic, nubile nymphettes around. Size-Zero was running through each of their heads.
After agitated conversations on how each of their girlfriends matched up to these high standards, a disappointed bunch left for our hotel. I must admit, I picked up a Mumbai Indians cap from the Connaught Place outlet of Adidas, and buying that cap in Delhi adds to it's sentimental value.
Back to the hotel we trudged, another round of chicken grilled Sandwich and soon it was time to be off to the station for our last train journey. The journey back home.
As we reached the station, it was announced that our train would be 30 minutes late.
Angry, tired and frustrated, we were resigned to fact and rested our world-weary arses on the station benches.
The train did arrive, although 45 minutes late. We got on, aware of the facts that it was a minimum of 21 hrs before we would finally say that the trip was over. A good night's sleep and before we could realise it, 'twas day 7.

Northern Sojourn: Day 7

Everyone is wary of the fact that in spite of having travelled for about 12 hrs, we seem to have reached nowhere. The train is apparently running 4.5 hrs late, and that, approximately, puts our arrival time at somewhere aroundd midnight. We're all agitated and after 7 days away from home looking at the same 7 faces time and again, we don't blame each other.
Finally, we reach Ratlam. We jump off the train and buy some junk to chomp on the train. As soon as we'r back on, an old beggar comes up. In our agitated states, we simply told the beggar to move ahead. The beggar came up with an astonishing observation and here I quote "Aaj kal ke bacchon ko charbi chad gayi hai!"
(meaning today's generation is too irreverent)
Another short nap after that and by the time it was evening, everyone was prepared to go home. To pass the final few hours, Yash confronted Arvind about a certain "acquaintance" of his with whom he conversed for approximately an hour under roaming charges when at times, he wouldn't answer our calls citing the obscene roaming charges as an excuse. The rest of the time was spent in trying to weed a confession out of Arvind. Time fruitlessly wasted, if I may add. "Nippa" baba was at his adventurous best, trying out each bathroom turn after turn, filling each one with the heavenly aroma of Classic Milds. Finally at about 9.21, me, Kunal and Parag got off the train at Borivali and thanks to dad, got a ride back home which was much more comfortable than anything we'd had for the last 7 days.
Peace.

The "****" effect

My followers(who sum up to grand total of 3 including myself), have been seriously depraved of reading some really good stuff on my blog for the last month or two. This owing to my fantastically elongated examination period, which by the way stretches for 27 days to accommodate 5 papers.
As I unleash this here post, I still have two more papers to worry about, but my blog deserves some attention I guess. So here I am, at the very beginning of a new year, writing about certain arbit things, which I'm sure, no one is interested in knowing.
Most people plunge head first into the world of "New Year resolutions". That world I believe, runs on a parallel time dimension, where time destroys everything in a week or two. If you're exceptionally strong in the head, I'll give you a month. Not longer though.
I for one don't make any resolutions. Yet amazingly, this year, I find myself embarking on a self improvement spree. The reason for this spree, my dear readers, is a certain special, omnipotent, all knowing, ever-lasting effect.
The effect is patented and owned by a person, who unfortunately hasn't yet given me rights to use the name. So we shall have to suffice by saying that it is THE "****" EFFECT.
The special parts about this effect are, it does not work on anyone except me. Also, the rewards on offer for improving one self under the influence of this magical effect are truly "out-of-this-world". I simply write all this so that one day when I'm awesomely improved, I can look back and remind myself of how it all started.
Point noted. Effect sucked.