The "****" effect

My followers(who sum up to grand total of 3 including myself), have been seriously depraved of reading some really good stuff on my blog for the last month or two. This owing to my fantastically elongated examination period, which by the way stretches for 27 days to accommodate 5 papers.
As I unleash this here post, I still have two more papers to worry about, but my blog deserves some attention I guess. So here I am, at the very beginning of a new year, writing about certain arbit things, which I'm sure, no one is interested in knowing.
Most people plunge head first into the world of "New Year resolutions". That world I believe, runs on a parallel time dimension, where time destroys everything in a week or two. If you're exceptionally strong in the head, I'll give you a month. Not longer though.
I for one don't make any resolutions. Yet amazingly, this year, I find myself embarking on a self improvement spree. The reason for this spree, my dear readers, is a certain special, omnipotent, all knowing, ever-lasting effect.
The effect is patented and owned by a person, who unfortunately hasn't yet given me rights to use the name. So we shall have to suffice by saying that it is THE "****" EFFECT.
The special parts about this effect are, it does not work on anyone except me. Also, the rewards on offer for improving one self under the influence of this magical effect are truly "out-of-this-world". I simply write all this so that one day when I'm awesomely improved, I can look back and remind myself of how it all started.
Point noted. Effect sucked.